


Aftermath: Julian

by AlaskaExists



Series: Dark Artifices 2.1 [4]
Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Book 2: Lord of Shadows, Dark Artifices 2.1, Emma - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, JULIAN - Freeform, Post-Book 2: Lord of Shadows, Post-Book Series: The Dark Artifices, Setting up for the real stuff, Shock, Spoilers for Book 2: Lord of Shadows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 03:25:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12246045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlaskaExists/pseuds/AlaskaExists
Summary: Julian immediately after the ending of Lord of Shadows. He has to face what's in front of him and it's a lot.





	Aftermath: Julian

His world had been reduced to a single pinpoint. His vision tunneled, the sound his heartbeat drowned out the chaos around him. Everything he was and ever would be was cradled in his lap. His sister, his baby, Livvy. Julian could feel her blood soaking through his clothes. There was so much blood. He wondered how there could be this much blood when the broken sliver of a sword was still protruding out of his baby sister’s chest. He had enough sense to let it be, knowing pulling it out would be worse than leaving it in. He hastily drew iratze on Livvy’s arm, whispering to her like he did when she was a small child. “Sweetie, it’s okay. I’m here; I got you. Open your eyes for me, baby. Please. I’m here. Please.”

  
The runes were disappearing as soon as he drew them. He refused to acknowledge what that meant. Blood was soaking Livvy’s body and pooling around her. Julian’s clothes were sticking to him, soaked through with her blood, now cooling against his skin. Fear was like a cold knife through his heart.  
“I can save you. You’re going to be okay, I promise. Darling, I can't do this without you. I need you. We need you…please…by the angel, please. Not my baby.”

  
A strange sense of detachment started to slide across Julian’s consciousness. Everything felt far away; he could barely hear the sound of his voice as he murmured to his sister. Her skin looked so pale, she was so still, but she seemed peaceful. Like she was sleeping. Sleeping, in a puddle of blood, relaxing with a knife in her chest, the black liquid sliding down from the broken steel into her heart.

  
Julian distantly heard a yell of grief, a wordless howl of pain and disbelief. It took listening to it a few more times to realize it was his voice. His pain was echoing back to him from somewhere far away.

  
Someone knocking into his back brought him back to the moment. All the sound came rushing back, shouts and chaos, too many voices to make out anyone in particular. He still couldn’t pull his gaze from Livvy, but a familiar hand on his shoulder caught his attention. Emma. Even without looking he knew it was her. Could feel his parabatai’s strength flowing into him. He attempted to draw another iratze on Livvy’s skin. The mark started vanishing before he could even complete it.

  
“It’s over, Jules. Annabel is gone. It’s done, Jules.” Emma’s voice was right against his ear, soft and sad.  
Emma. His parabatai, his love. Emma. Julian’s mind began to race, and he whipped his gaze away from Livvy. He turned and grabbed Emma so fast that he almost knocked her over. She was on her knees next to him, and her startled face filled his vision as his hands fisted in her shirt. “Emma. Emma, we can save her! Our bond, our power. If you stay next to me, keep your hands on me. We can draw the rune together. That’s how you saved me. It will work! It has too. Emma, it has too…”

  
The hope that bloomed in Julian’s chest at the thought was almost as painful as the grief. He knew he sounded unhinged and that he was scaring Emma, who was staring at him wide-eyed. He waited for her to answer. To give him her usual determined look and be on his side, but that wasn’t what happened. Her shock turned to a profound kind of sadness, and she looked at him with sympathetic eyes. She shook her head, “Jules we can’t. It’s not right, and we could lose control.”

  
Julian’s mind blanked. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This must be a dream. Emma would never… This wasn’t his Emma. Emma put her hands over Julian’s that were white-knuckling her shirt. They felt warm, and he could feel the pressure as she squeezed, the rough calluses from training and climbing. They were her hands. She put a hand on his face, and he suddenly realized she was talking. “…can't. Besides, Jules, it’s too late.”

  
Emma’s voice was choked, but the words were clear nonetheless. The hope that had bloomed in his chest began collapsing, and he felt his sanity slipping with it. “NO! Emma how could you say that! You saved me before. We can save her now! Why won’t you even try?! Emma, please. Don’t you care about us at all?!”

  
At some point during the rant, Julian had started shaking Emma. His hands were grasping her shoulders tightly, weakly pushing her away and pulling her back. Emma stayed quiet, staring at Jules with such profound grief and empathy that it threatened to consume him. He felt like he was on the edge of a black hole. Teetering, waiting for his exhausted body to give out, waiting for him to give in to his overwhelming emotions. He was distantly aware of the tears streaming down his face. The tracks they had left, but he couldn’t feel them, and he didn’t care. He would get control of this situation, just like he always did. Had always done.

  
Emma’s eyes glanced away for a split second to focus on something just beyond him. Livvy. Julian whipped around, almost expecting to see Livvy awake, but instead saw members of the clave closing in on her body. Their faces distant and mournful, saying more than words. They weren’t coming to help, to save his sister, they were looking at her like she was only a body. He could see the funeral in their eyes, and it pushed him over the edge. “Stay back!” he yelled, blinding grasping for a weapon that he didn’t have.

Instead, he pulled Livvy back into his lap and lashed out at anyone who dared come near. Her body was growing cold. He lunged for the stele he had dropped and begin drawing runes again. Hoping that Emma was near enough for their bond to impact the rune’s power. Still, the mark disappeared like it hadn’t been there in the first place.

  
The Shadowhunter’s were getting closer. He couldn’t understand what they were saying, but he knew what they wanted. He only had a few moments left before they took her from him. Before they put words to this nightmare and made it real. Desperate, he turned to look at Emma. “EMMA! Emma, please help me. Help,” Julian’s voice faded to a pleading whisper as Emma wrapped her arms around him. He felt her gently pry the stele away from him. “Jules, you have to let them see her.”

  
He could hear tears in Emma’s voice, but her arms felt secure around him. Her voice was firm and quiet in his ears and the only thing that anchored him in all the chaos. “Jules, love, let them help.”  
Julian allowed himself to be lifted slightly, his weight mostly on Emma as they stumbled a few feet away before collapsing to the floor again. He heard the Clave members close around his sister’s body. Emma tried to keep Julian’s head pressed against her, tried to protect him from seeing and hearing anything more, but he found himself listening intently anyway.

  
“She’s gone,” a deep male voice said. Julian’s heart stopped, but the voices didn’t. “So young…a tragedy…could have been prevented…dead…dead…Dead…”  
Julian shattered.  
Emma’s arms tightened around him, but he could hardly feel her. His mind was in overload, his grief and shock so strong that it broke through him without cognition. His breath was coming in quick pants, and he was sobbing so hard that no sound came out. His whole body was shaking, racked with tremors that were almost painful. He wrapped his arms around his chest trying to hold himself together as he buried his face against Emma. His baby sister was dead…he had failed her…failed all his sibling in the worst way possible. He didn’t know how to get through this.

  
A numbness began to spread through his body, his hands and feet felt tingly. He turned his face away from Emma and took in the scene around him. A few Shadowhunters were getting ready to move Livia’s body. He wanted to run, to throw himself at them. They were prodding the sword in her chest, and his whole body froze with horror, thinking he would have to watch them pull it out. Instead, they began to cover her, getting her body ready to lift.

  
_No, stop, you have to help her first. You have to try to save her. She can’t be dead yet._

  
His throat felt swollen and raw, and he couldn’t get the words out. Couldn’t get his body to move to stop them. He was useless. Just as useless as he’d been when Annabel flew over him to attack his baby sister. Everything in him felt spent. His vision started to swim, black spots closing in as stared at Livvy’s lifeless face. He didn’t know how he thought she was sleeping before. Everything that made her herself, everything that made her alive, was gone. This time he was aware of the noises he was making, but he couldn’t stop himself. The pain was erupting from him in wordless howls of grief until his vision went black and he mercifully slipped into unconsciousness.

**Author's Note:**

> Next Part (Aftermath - Mark helps Julian) continues this part from Mark's POV, but with heavy Julian influence. Mark realizes his brother has shut down and helps him get cleaned up in one of the Gards many rooms. Brotherly love and platonic shower


End file.
